Life in Montana

We have been in our new place now for just over a week....it seems like much longer....everything does now a days. Anyway, we are renting a furnished home in White Fish, Montana - which is a town right next to Kalispell where my parents live. It is a very large home with plenty of space for the kids to move about. It is out of town which is wonderful....so peaceful and quiet. The view out our back window is amazing. The Swam Mountain Range stands so majestic and white all covered in snow. I am adding a picture that I took from the back porch. The evening view is the most beauctiful for the setting sun turns the snow to a beautiful light pink. When I look at it I think of Jacob and the beauty he is beholding everyday!!! Oh, I just can't wait to see what Jesus has made for us His children. I get so annoyed at Jacob sometimes for getting there first!!!!!.....
I have put our home up for sale. I left all the furniture in it so it looks pretty for the showings. I am just praying it sells soon to the perfect new family. It is amazing how dreams can come and then be gone so quickly. I remember how excited Jacob and I were when we had that house built....but it just was not meant to be. Our Lord had another plan...one past all our understanding.....one that really really really is teaching us to TRUST Him even when we can not see or understand or figure it out. In the good times it is easy to say, " I will always trust you."..but what about when bad times come? What about when tragedy strikes for no reason - none that we can see anyway. Well, as my mother in law has said, " This is a time Jesus is teaching us to TRUST Him in a way we never have had to before."
So, in our week here we have settled in rather nicely. We really only brought toys and clothes and a few small other things. I rather like not having a bunch of other clutter around. This house has three stories and works out just so well. The girls and I are in the two rooms upstairs and the boys share a room on the middle floor. Then there is a fourth bedroom down in the basement that is just too far down for anyone to want to stay in. The basement however does offer a great family room with a gas stove. It is warm and cozy and we love it.
Lydia has learned to crawl although she much prefers scooting instead of a downright crawl. That she reserves when she has real incentive like when her grandpa Hasse has ice cream (don't worry - her daddy would approve for he himself fed his firstborn son ice cream before he could walk). She continues to be our happy nearly perfect baby. She has her daddy's blue eyes (which is the only one of our four children that does) and she has his cheerful personality which I just love and miss so terribly much.
The older three (Caleb, Clayton, and Lacey) seem to be doing quite well. They all have their moments or course for their little lives have been turned completely upside down.
Yesterday was one of those days that you wish you could just go to bed and end it.I won't go into it all but the icing on the cake was something the children and I will not soon forget. The home we are renting belongs to a kind women who is living in Boise right now. She kindly let us rent her home with warning that it was not made for children. (I came promply in and kid proofed it so we would not damaged her belongings.) I have instructed the kids over and over that we take very good care of Becky's things just like Jesus would want us to do. Well, in the basement there is a large flat screen TV with two very tall bookshelves with glass doors on either side. I am not really sure what happened but as I am working on school with Caleb on the table in the corner of the room, I hear something and turn my head just in time to see the left bookcase fall completely over...right on top of Clayton. I ran over and lifted it off him. He was not hurt at all (I know Jesus gets complete credit for that) but he was crying hysterically. Infact Clayton and Lacey were screaming and Caleb was so upset that he left the room. We all were shocked and completely appauled that Becky's bookcase was laying flat on the floor with glass all over..............I couldn't believe it! After being so careful and now look what happened. I could just see the dollars passing before my eyes on how much it would take to replace all this. But a very kind neighbor (who knows Becky and was actually here helping get the hot water heater fixed for it had gone out that day as well) came and very sweetly helped pick up the mess and get everything back into place. And as it turned out all that needed to be replaced were two broken drinking glasses that had been in the glass doors and one of the glass doors itself. Come to find out those tall shelves are very unstable. I had no idea - they look very stable.....anyway, Clayton felt horrible for it was truly an accident. And I felt horrible and very annoyed with him. But you know what? I am very thankful that Jesus protected him completely and he was not smashed by broken glass and that Lydia had been napping at the time for if she had been awake there is a very very good chance she would have been right there when it fell.............I told this kind neighbor man that Jesus watches over our family all the time! Needless to say, I was still very relieved when the end of the day came and I was able to fall down on my bed and just finish the day with Jesus alone and quiet! There is no Jacob to talk to for now, so Jesus and I talk now more than ever!
Today went much better. I actually took the kids ice skating. They have been before. Caleb is very stable and doing great. In fact I think the Olympics have inspired him for he did a jump and twirl and landed it just fine. Clayton and Lacey started off using the bars as they have before. But soon Clayton put it away and was skating like a champ by the end. He even figured out how to stop. He did amazing. Lacey also put away her bar and was skating with no help by the time we left. She is still more wobbly than her brothers, but she showed great progress. We had a fun time. As I was skating around I would look up and out the windows of the skating hall and there towering in front was an amazing view of the ski runs on Big Mountain. Of course this made me think of my man....he LOVED to ski. I know he is going to have a blast on the majestic mountains on the New Earth someday. He and I will have a blast together. See, what fun it is to be able to look forward to great times again. They will happen, my friends, to all who are found in Christ Jesus. We will all be able to explore together the amazing New Earth He has planned for He and us to spend eternity together on!!!! It is not far off........the time is rapidly drawing near!
Well, I guess that is about all for now. Please continue to pray for us. For I have not mentioned all the times of deep grief and desperately sorrowful moments of agonny as life goes on without Jacob. Sometimes it still seems unreal what has happened in our lives. Yes, there is much much pain that goes on behind closed doors that no one sees, but Jesus. It is far from easy....this road that we now walk along. And that is why it is so desperately important for me to cling to my Lord in complete trust - for had I not Him, I would be completely lost and without hope. I still do not understand....infact I think it has been this way for alot of you. We just do not understand "why" Jesus has taken Jacob. It has challenged us all.......but I believe in these last times our mighty God needs to have His children be able to TRUST him no matter what. No matter if we can understand it or not. No matter if is makes sense to us or not. For this world only is going to continue to grow worse - but He WILL NEVER FAIL US and we must cling to Him no matter what!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Love to all you and please keep your eyes on Jesus and commit your all to Him as never before. Until next time or heaven....whichever may come first, Dawn