Jesus is Always Near

I am not sure if I mentioned before that our home in Idaho sold. Closing was June 3. I am very thankful to the Lord for the rather quick sale of our home in this economy. The kids and I spent a couple weeks worth of time back in Coeurd'alene packing up the house. It was a very emotional time for me. I look back on it now and am so grateful it is over with. I am confident that I made the right decision to sell......and yet, of course it was still hard to say goodbye to the home that started as such a fun "dream" for Jacob and me. As I walked throughout the empty house I was thankful that at least most the memories I was leaving there, were painful ones.......for, Jacob and I only lived there about a month and a half before the storm came crashing down around us. And yet, those walls that witnessed such intense sorrow and suffering, also bear testimony to the amazing sustaining grace of His Majesty our Savior and King. For, throughout Jacob's illness Jesus never left us....even for the slightest moment. And when the angels of the Most High came on Oct 10 to escort my Jacob to his Father's house, it was with great joy they entered those gates with him and presented him before the Lord. May I always think of it this way whenever I look back on this "dream" of ours that was cut short in this life only to give way to the next chapter in the book of the Master Planner. It's gonna be a good one, I know. And it's ending will ring with the glory of Jesus in having faithfully completed all He had purposed, just as did my man before me.
So with tremendous grace and strength from above I closed the door and left our home on Bardwell Dr.
Needless to mention, the kids and I were all rather exhausted when we arrived back home in Montana. It took us a few days to recover...they more quickly than I as children are so good at.
I have been given new strength in being a single mommy. The Lord and I had a parenting discussion soon after my homecoming. It is not an easy thing to not have Jacob here partnering with me in this great task as hand. It is once again another dream of ours that did not turn out the way we thought and had planned it would. But in my weakness and acknowledgment of my inability to do this on my own, Jesus has given me His strength. And when you are partners with the Master of all Creation, you will never fail. For "He gives power to the faint: and to them that have no might He increases strength....they that wait upon the Lord shall renew their strength; they shall mount up with wings like eagles; they shall run and not grow weary, they shall walk and not faint." Isaiah 40:29 & 31
I have also been greatly inspired with this thought that came to me one day recently, " I am taking care of Jacob's greatest treasure - his children - and what a great and precious way to honor my love that to do my very best at caring for them. And to the best of my ability lead them in the way of Jesus so that one day my Jacob will see his children again. What joy that will be to be able to present Jacob with his children again in the Kingdom of our God. It will be a moment of unspeakable happiness......." And so when the days get long and draining, I can think of my love for Jacob as I care for his greatest treasure. It will all be worth it to see them together again.
Our little Lydia will be one year old tomorrow (June 18). She is developing quite a personality. She often cracks us up by her stubbornness in not wanting to learn to walk. All the Cole children have walked well before a year old, but not little Missy. Oh no, she takes great delight in teasing us by promptly sitting down after we have balanced her and left her standing to make the few steps to walk to us. She may smile and laugh and try it (sort of - half heartedly)......but it's never top on her list. She does however love to climb up the stairs quick as a wink before you know she has even left the room. She enjoys snacks such as rocks and legos.......but prefers of course to find that missing jelly bean dropped by her older siblings. Her latest past time is to climb up and stand on the bathroom stool. It is right in front of the sink and so she holds on to the counter. Her little chin just reaches the top of the counter where she quite joyfully stands and sings to herself or pears around seeing what is within grasping range. There she remains contentedly that is, until she gets tired of standing and standing and standing...for you see, she can not get down on her own.....but, she has not problem letting us know she needs help....babies are so good at that!
Lacey turned 4 on May 12. She of course is rather proud of that accomplishment. She is quite the little chatter box........ never watch a movie with her for she will shower you with questions the whole time. I call her my little Snail for she takes forever to do simple things like eat her food at mealtime (that is unless it is ice cream or doughnuts), or get her PJ's on after bath time (because of course she can't decide which ones she wants to wear), or put her socks on when we are in a rush to leave (because not all the socks in her drawer are comfortable and she knows which is which)......the list could go on. And just for the record, no dress or skirt is even worth trying on let alone wearing if it DOES NOT TWIRL. Oh, and she is ghastly afraid of bugs...but especially spiders...even if they are dead.....because they may not really be dead at all, but only sleeping......ahhhhh!!! I do not have much patience for daughters who are afraid of bugs....She is truly a kick and I imagine Jesus and Jacob have a good laugh over her at times.
Clayton's mouth has healed completely. I do believe I reported about his fall and trip to the oral surgeon. He has found that his missing tooth has provided the perfect space to allow for the stick of a lollipop to fit through.....He did however manage to pick up a tick on his head somewhere here in the mountain forest.....actually probably from the fir trees in our yard. If any of you know about ticks, they must not be forced to leave without taking their head with them. That bugger would not let go, but with the help of a good friend, Clayton was finally freed of his little tag along.
Clayton is an amazing helper and whenever I have a job around the house that needs to be done well, I pick him. He had a great first year of Tball and enjoyed it very much. Kindergarten is coming up in the fall for him this year. I will then have two kids in home school. He is eager and ready to learn. I know he will do well.
Caleb is growing up so fast. I can hardly believe how big he is. He has two missing teeth in front and is just waiting for those big teeth to hurry up and grow in. They are not in any rush, apparently. He also had a super baseball season this year. Rain or shine, (which around here there was more rain than shine) he was ready to play. He will be going into second grade this fall. He does well and has a good head on his shoulders although I don't think he has as great an interest in it as will Clayton. Recently, Caleb has discovered the art of carving with his daddy's pocketknife. I finally let him have Jacob's little leather man's. I made sure he knew all the rules that went along with it, of course. He is quite proud of it. He recently had a beautiful dream of heaven and Jesus. I was so blessed to hear him tell me. Jesus is doing great things in our children.
Well, that is the report for now. I continue to press on every day knowing Jesus is by my side. Jacob is always in my heart. I love him more and more as time goes on. The bond we have has not been broken by death. Sometimes, I go outside and just throw my head back and look up into the depths of the sky and wonder what he is doing and what it all is like up there? I can hardly wait to be apart of it all. 1 Cor. 5:1-2,4,6-8 says it well, "For we know that if our earthly house of this tent be destroyed,we have a building of God, a house not made with hands, eternal in the heavens. For in this we groan, earnestly desiring to be clothed upon with our house which is from heaven...For we that are in this tabernacle do groan, being burdened: not for that we would be unclothed but clothed upon, that mortality might be swallowed up of life....There we are always confident, knowing that, while we are at home in the body, we are absent from the Lord: (For we walk by faith and not by sight) We are confident, I say, and willing rather to be absent from the body and to be present with the Lord."
Also, one more thing. I want to be sure to add a thank you to you all. Thank you for your continued thoughts and prayers for us. Also thank you to those who send cards and gifts ($). Please know, I am always so very blessed and I truly want to be able to write each one of you and thank you personally. I have been working on that little by little. But in case I don't get a chance to write, please please know that how blessed I am for your love and support. Truly truly truly............